Is Your Sex Life Sustainable? The Boom-Boom Times Are Over, My Friend.

Here’s another way those dirty secrets – sex and money – are intertwined:

The U.S. is in the midst of an immense economic reorganization. The old paradigm of onward-and-upward, endless growth has shattered, and we’re wandering dazed through the debris.

Our revised goals? Survival and sustainability.

It’s no coincidence that our collective sex lives have taken a similar nosedive. Gone are the adrenaline and testosterone that fueled the BIGGER! HARDER! FASTER! school of masculinity.

The boom-boom times are over, my friend.

Are you poised to take advantage of the emerging sexual paradigm? Or will you ride the old dinosaurs all the way down into the tar pits?

The sex lives that will survive these downsized times will focus on the same themes that will drive the new green economy.

Deep connection to the earth and nature’s cycles. (Read: Deep connections to our bodies, not our most outrageous fantasies.)

Stay close to home. (Intimacy. Family. Trust.)

Grow your own food. (Feed the relationships that nurture you.)

Community. (Know your partners. Have a supportive circle of friends. “Shop” locally.)

Reuse. Reduce. Recycle. (Read: Work it out instead of always moving on.)

Learn how to enjoy what’s already here, instead of chasing after what’s not.

These shifts can be beautiful, if you know how to put down roots… and actually draw nourishment from what’s at hand.

Will your sex life survive this cataclysmic reordering?

Can you walk away from unsustainable exploitation (of yourself and others)?

Can you work in harmony with the natural rhythms of life?

Those who can, will thrive.

Those who won’t give up the unsustainable dream of empire… well, I’ve got 4 words for you.

Tar pits. Gravity. Godzilla.

Adapt or die.

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  • Graeme

    Hey David,

    I’ve heard a lot about you, so it’s great to be able to read your blog.

    I was just reading this, and I thought I should ask you if you are aware of the “Spiral Dynamics” theory? I think it would really interest you. As we move up the stages, transcending the paradigm of “more more more” into a more co-operative stage of living, everything in our lives is transformed by this new way of thinking (as you’ve pointed out in this post). I believe that after we embrace this stage of being world-centric and “green”, we need to take the previous stage into our lives again to really live everything, especially our sexual lives, with passion.

    I have subscribed to your posts.


    • davidcates

      Thanks, Graeme. Welcome!

      I have heard of Spiral Dynamics, but only secondhand through others. When I wrote this, I wasn’t thinking about the green stage, but I can see how it applies. And yes, definitely we need to integrate each previous stage as we move forward – esp reintroducing passion into our sex lives!

  • André Angelantoni

    Very interesting take on how the structural changes we are going through will impact the very personal — our intimate lives.

    I’m interviewing Carolyn Baker this Thursday on the topic of collapse and how people can emotionally and mentally prepare for it and I’ll bring this up during the interview.

    Neither she nor I think that we will have people streaming from the cities looking for food but we do think that our civilization is about to experience a rapid simplification on almost every level due to the converging debt and oil crisis. Climate change will make matters worse, of course, but the credit contraction that has just begun is going to stress our governments and other institutions greatly.


    • davidcates

      Hey Andre, I’m with you on this one. Macro… micro… political… personal… All are fractals of the same core pattern. Rapid simplification is upon us.

  • Ken Ingram

    Fuckin’ ay man.
    Right on!

    • davidcates


  • Jeni

    Beautiful! Thank you David!

  • Lisa Zefkeles

    Thanks so much for starting this much needed discussion. I am newly single after being married for 20 years and I am shocked at how the men I meet view relationships and sex… very different from 25 years ago. I also see them suffering for it… not to mention how us women are suffering… good work.

    • davidcates

      Thanks for speaking up, Lisa! Finding common ground is the big issue here. When given a real chance, most of the men I know would choose real intimacy. Trouble is, a lot of men don’t have a clue what that is. It’s not part of their life education…

  • freewil

    on track

    • davidcates

      yes you are!

  • SoulJuiceTV

    yes indeed, its time to get present, get grateful and get real… and back in our hearts. for it is within that the true treasure lies…… thankyou for a beautiful post helping guide us all back home ….

    • davidcates

      isn’t it wonderful how we all guide each other? like a huge flock of migrating birds…

  • Lazy Minx

    lol. Looks like most of my ex’s are headed for the tar pits then!

    • davidcates

      hey at least if they’re ex’s, you won’t have to clean the tar off their feet before you let them back into the house…lol