When Sexual Wounds from the Past Return to Haunt the Present

When sex dries up, it’s easy to distance. Or fight. Or just avoid the elephant in the bedroom.

That’s no longer necessary.

If you’ve been sexually active in America, you’ve got battle scars. If you’re like most people, you work around them.

Imagine an amateur athlete who loves basketball or soccer. He blows out his knee at some point, but eventually goes back to the game. He may guard his injury, but he’s not gonna stop playing.

Then one day his knee starts acting up. He hobbles, curses, pushes for awhile, but then gives up, defeated and ashamed.

This scenario plays out countless times every day in the bedrooms of America.

A woman who loves sex bumps up against an old wound, a somatic memory or emotional “bruise”, and starts pulling back from her partner. Intercourse hurts. She’s not in the mood. The closet needs cleaning…

A man who’s been jacked up on hormones and porn begins to feel that he’s running on fumes. His dick goes limp. His wife looks fat. He vanishes into a videogame.

These are good people who like sex and care about each other. Their past has just caught up with them.

Every day, 500 women are raped in America. One out of five college-educated women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Over 60 million Americans are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Adding to the genital trauma, there are over 1 million U.S. abortions each year; every one creates a memory.

Sexual violence is far more common than we think.

Not everyone has been wounded physically. Factor in the everyday bumps and bruises of heartbreak, shame, body image, inexperience, overenthusiasm. And the distorted expectations of a porn-saturated culture.

In that mix, it’s the rare individual who escapes without multiple injuries. Sure, we pick ourselves up and get back in the game, but eventually it catches up with us.

And often, the symptoms flare up with the people we trust most. Our partners. With them, we may feel safe enough to admit that we’re hurting. Or simply, there’s nowhere to hide in an intimate relationship.

Countless millions, tens of millions, of the most seriously wounded never make it to the home base of relationship. They’re holed up alone in an empty apartment, or married to their jobs, or out screwing everything that moves, or worse…

If you’re in relationship, you’re lucky. You’ve got a partner who can help you heal. The stronger the love, the greater your chances of recovery.

Even if the sex is drying up.

Even if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Deep Masculine is sponsoring the Sexual Healing Project for men just like you.

We’re committed to giving you the most effective tools for sexual healing.

Tools that can reverse the inevitable wounds of lifelong sexual activity.

Tools that you can use at home to help heal yourself, your partner and your relationship.

Tools that can help you get your sex life back on track.

Tools that will make your relationship stronger, deeper and more passionate than ever.

To grab your toolkit & bring back your sexual relationship

click here.

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  • Cosmiccasita

    great article David!
    too bad FB has to access all your info to share this….i don’t allow apps… guess i can just paste the URL…

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      Thanks! I appreciate your support. And yep, the old cut-and-paste-the-URL is the only way I know to get around the rabbit holes of FB app-land…