7 Easy Steps to Whole Body Orgasm

1. Open ALL your pleasure circuits.

Yes, the cock has 4,000-24,000 nerve endings (depending on size and circumcision). We like that. (Esp if we haven’t been circumcised.)

But the entire body has over 3 MILLION nerve endings spread over 20 square feet of skin. You have 10,000 taste buds and 40 million olfactory receptor cells. That’s not even counting muscles, eyes and ears!

Face it, you’ve been listening to the music of sex on blown-out, tinny junk speakers, when you could be enjoying a surround-sound 6-channel home-theater-quality experience. Why settle?

Open ALL those sensory receptors!

2. Relax!

If you’re tensing up during sex and speeding to get to the finish line, your pleasure senses are shutting down. Seriously. This is incredibly counterproductive.

Rapid breathing and tense muscles signal danger and trip the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response. The body races to ejaculate so you’re ready to fend off an attack.

Your system is flooded with survival hormones designed to make you paranoid and aggressive.

(Imagine what that does to the emotional connection with your partner!)

3. Slow down your breathing.

This reverses the fight-or-flight signals to your sympathetic nervous system. Ahhhh! In a few minutes, your partner will start feeling less like an enemy – and more like a lover.

Slow breathing will allow you both to sync up and move into shared experience.

The breath is the largest and most controllable pulse in your body. Steady breathing brings all the other pulses (from heartbeat to biochemical arousal to quivering desire) into rhythmic coherence. It’s like the steady drummer who lays down a groove that all the other instruments then dance around.

When you breathe in rhythm with your partner, you’ll automatically fall into love. Instead of being slammed by those paranoid-aggression hormones, your bloodstream will be swimming with the biochemicals of bliss.

4. Turn off the mental porn channel.

If you’re narrating a porn scene in your head, you’re distracting attention from the ACTUAL sensations in your turned-on body.

Not to mention the ACTUAL human being you’ve gone to all the trouble to get into your bed.

Why bother having sex if you’re only going to rerun the same tired fantasies in your own private mental theater? (See Step #1: don’t settle for second-rate speakers.)

Unplug your chattering monkey mind. Open your eyes and enjoy what’s in front of you.

The more sensation you can feel in your body, the less those second-hand thoughts will even register.

Yes, it’s possible for real sex to feel better than porn. But you’ve got to get out of your head and into your body for that to happen.

5. Pay attention to your senses. All of your senses.

A relaxed body, breathing slowly and deeply, will tingle with limitless sensations. The slightest movement will roll through solid flesh like waves. You’ll remember why sex can be better than drugs.

The more you focus on your body, the more fresh and unexpected your experience becomes.

It’s true that men are wired to seek variety. The mind says we need a fresh partner… but when you turn up your senses, you’ll open to millions of brand-new sensations. What’s been stale is not necessarily your partner. Maybe it’s your own dull habits of perception.

Feel your fingers, toes, individual hairs, sounds, smells, colors… first your own, then your partner’s.

Welcome to the world, my friend! It’s a lot bigger than your head.

6. Forget about your cock for awhile.

Cock-focused stimulation can get you off too fast. Or keep you from noticing her.

Instead of peaking early, and trying hard to get back in the game, let your body take you up a series of steps. Each step becomes a new plateau, better than the last, more open, intense and ecstatic.

At each step, open up another sense. Spread the wealth around. Sight. Sound. Touch. Taste. Smell. Amplify your attention to that new sense.

At each step, spread your attention away from your cock and toward your extremities. Shoulders, hands, fingers. Knees, feet, toes. Face, ears, hair…

If you slow down instead of speeding up when you get close, you’ll remain on the delicious edge of cumming. You’ll be matching your partner instead of beating her to the finish line.

You can play on these plateaus for as long as you wish, until you both decide to roll on into orgasm.

7. Let sex be a truly shared experience.

Instead of being trapped in your own head, or focused on getting her off, imagine your whole body (head to toe) dancing and moving with her whole body. (See photo of entangled snakes, above.)

Breathe deeply and slowly to relax those bodies, and open up new areas to pleasure.

Include the genitals and usual erogenous zones, but don’t linger there. Spread your attention everywhere.

Talk about what you’re experiencing and exploring. Appreciate her body and her touch.

Slow down, drop out of your head and into your senses.

Take each other to new plateaus. Keep pace with each other.

The more you both sync up, the closer you’ll feel. The more your bodies will pulse together, and feed each other’s pleasure.

When you finally cum, your whole body will tremble.

That will open up and activate even MORE pleasure circuits… and in no time at all, you’ll be rolling through whole-body orgasms.

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  • Jenifer Stambaugh

    That’s a good one David! Thanks for writing again!

    • David Cates

      You’re welcome, Jeni. Feels good to get it out there again!

  • AydinLucia

    Thank you David. these are things i know and feel but are strengthened when i hear them. 

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      Glad I can put them into words! And it goes both ways: I feel strengthened by your confirmation from your own experience.  So thanks!

  • Banu

    I like your post. But I would like to add that women want variety too but we are socialized to keep it to ourselves. :) We may not have a porn channel in our minds but we fantasize about people we know (yes, even sometimes when having sex with a partner). Just sayin’… :)

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      O yeah we’re all full of contradictions. ;)
      Thanks for sharing your perspective here!

  • http://www.onehearttantra.com/ Lynn Paterson

    Very useful and  nicely written – i love that you have made it so clear and simply.  Thanks and I’ll definitely be suggesting this as an article for my clients to read!

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      Thanks Lynn! And thanks for the working with clients in these transformational areas!

  • http://www.johnpicard.ie/ John

    I like this article. Written by a man……easy to understand. Ill pass it on.

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      Appreciate that, John. Be well!

  • Annemarieclulow

    Fantastic article, covers such an amazing amount of Tantric principles so practically. Can I use this as a reference for clients? Want to repost it too, and much of the principles stand for women too, especially about chasing orgasm and being in the moment.Thank you so much for this :)

    • http://deepmasculine.com David Cates

      Yes! Please share wherever it will serve. Thanks for helping people open up to more love!

  • Julie Hekate

    Beautifully written, Cates!  So simple, elegant, I’m passing this on to several of my clients.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    • David Cates

      Thanks, Hekate! Hope it helps.

  • Anonymous

    Breathing slooooowly really is the key. Superb post, thanks!

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  • Ben Belenus

    Excellent article, I shall share widely.

    I too love to self pleasure. Frankly, there is
    nothing original or shocking in my confession as almost everybody masturbates.
    The behavior is in fact a healthy and inclusive aspect of our human sexuality.
    Self pleasure is where we learn about our own sexual response. A woman should
    worship her clit and a man his cock; what sensory blessings can they bring us
    in this lonely experience of life. 

    But why are most people so
    secretive about such a pleasurable behaviour; it’s rather like talking
    about death!

    Onelove

    Ben
    http://www.benbelenus.com